You did it!! Your pinky toe wiggled! At first, I thought it was just involuntary jitters from the hypernatremia again - but then you wiggled it a bunch more and proved it wasn't!🎉

...

I'm sorry. I can't bear lying to you.
I wish I could say that I'm happy for you - I know that you don't like the taste of the salt and that it's been hard on you, too, but..
I want you to rely on me more. When you got the electric wheelchair a few months ago, it made me a little sad. Knowing that you'll be able to walk again someday makes me feel a little lonely.

That's an awful thing to say. That was selfish of me. I'm sorry. I wish I was a better soulmate.

..I guess it's just because I'm still afraid. You've always been so brave, and I've always.. not been. I know that no matter how terrible things get, you'll keep living as you always have. The world could be on fire, and acid could be raining from the sky, and locusts could be swarming the earth - and you'd still be trying your very hardest to prove that you were alive just as much as anyone else was.
That part of you is why I'm here, after all.
It's just that..

Well, I guess you'll find out when it's time. I hate hiding things from you, but it's better that you don't know until it's too late.
By the time you read this diary of mine, I'll be gone. I'm writing down the good thoughts, the bad thoughts, and everything in-between - I know that you'll miss every part of me. Whether I'm cooking us breakfast, cutting my arms, brushing your hair, or shivering from nicotine withdrawal, you love me all the same.

I love you. I want the best for you. That's why it has to be this way. I'm sorry.
I wish that things could go on like this forever - but then you'd never be able to live without having to avoid the sand and looking up whether or not places you go are staircase-accessible only beforehand.

You know that a lot of things scare me. I'm just..
..well.

I don't want to die.

That's a pretty reasonable thing to say, right?

...I don't want to leave you all by yourself.

I'm sorry. I'm not myself. I haven't had a cigarette in a little while.
The bamboo salt is working. Keep taking it, even if it starts to hurt me.
I love you.